nightmares and daydreams

(if anyone can guess where this title came from, you are awesome)

so this post is inspired from another friend who had a similar topic. Everyone has dreams and they can be as real or imaginary as what your mind can come up with.

there was one dream where I remembered very well, it must have been vivid in my mind's eye. Although it wasn't realistic or atleast it couldn't have been. It was a scary one at that. I was only a little girl in this dream. I was convinced by a group of people to get this one woman to bring her down stairs into a basement. Little did I know (before it was too late) their real intention; that was to end her life. The next thing I remember was that I was standing, peeking over the staircase and there was this flash of green light and the woman's voice screaming out and I felt extremely guilty like I knew this plan the whole time but it only dawned at me then.

there are other dreams that protray what had already happened. This dream was when I was seven years old and I had spent the next few days over my paternal grandparents while my parents were at the hospital having my sister. I guess I didn't get the message that I was supposed to ride the bus home instead I thought that someone like my either of my grandparents or my mother was supposed to pick me up. Instead I spent a hour and half patiently waiting. I ended up getting upset when I realized it was getting too late. That night I had a nightmare thinking that my family forgot about me. I remember opening my eyes kicking my legs and then shutting my eyes again. That morning I realized that I accidently kicked my grandma while she slept next to me ): because I was too scared to spend the night up in the attic by myself so I begged her to keep me company.

I went through a phase where after I watched a episode of 'Ghost Hunters', other YouTube video of a 'suspected ghost' or a paranormal show, and after closing my eyes in a dark room I would see that image in my mind's eye. The other times when that happened was when I saw a scary movie like  2011's 'Insidious' and I was afraid I'd get nightmares after seeing what they called and protrayed the 'lipstick demon' and it reminds me of whatever I think the devil actually looks like. ooh frightening!

and there are also the pleasant moments you experience you don't want to end or afraid you'll wake up and it'll be over and I think we all know what that feels like.

mixed reactions of the end of a terrorist's life

it is indeed the end of a terrorist leader's life. DNA confirmed it. Osama bin Laden is dead for good. The U.S. went in for a kill mission that lasted about forty minutes. According to Islamic law, a body had to be buried within twenty-four hours after their death and so they put it in the ocean so rebels or members of another terrorist group could not make a shrine of his remains. Smart thinking on the troops' part.

Although we can argue over why it had to result in his death, can we atleast come to a agreement that he was a horrible, HORRIBLE individual that resorted to acts of terrible violence to scare groups of people. I also agree that this event in history shows that justice has been served to the families of the 9/11 victims'. One life does not equal to the thousands of lives he took. Of course we will expect retaliation attempts; acts it is to be expected when a major leader of a group is executed.

It is like a quote in a book I read: "There are good and bad people in every religion." It would have been safer to kill bin Laden than to capture and compromise the safety of the American people. Am I glad he's dead? Truthfully, yes to know he won't be carrying out any more horrible acts of violence but this is not the end of terrorism we still have a long and hard fight ahead of us. The troops will still be there fighting for our freedom and we can never forget them and the purpose they serve.

perfectly aware of what I do... thanks

so tired of worrying what my actions being circulated to my parents or any other family member finding out. It's just stupid, and I'm annoyed and fed up with it. I realize they are looking out for me and that's nice. But please, for my sanity, there is no need for you to report it back to my parents. I'm twenty years old for God's sake. I am aware of the consequences of my actions. I know the difference between right and wrong.

I've grown up, can't you just leave me alone?

my maternal grandmother is not the person who says "I've done my best" when it comes to raising her children. No, she's the opposite.

she can be controlling, give you guilt trips and my own mother has been fed up with it. I don't blame her. She doesn't call her mom to have a regular chat once in a while because my grandma will start nagging her saying she doesn't visit her often. Why do you suppose that is? Sure, you praise Jesus that your granddaughter is pregnant but you act completely different when someone else is in the same situation. What if it were me who was pregnant at such a young age that I am? You wouldn't be jumping for joy.

as for me and my relationship between the only grandmother I have left alive, I still respect her and show her kindness but there's a point where I've reached with her and it's quite upsetting. I stopped being so close to her when I found out she still has a grudge against my uncle's boyfriend. That's your own son you're discrimating against Grandma. Can't you just be happy that he found someone that makes him happy?

I know even I've reached a age where I don't regularly keep contact with my extended family. I still think of them and there may be strains on our relationships and there's probably a reason that caused it.

a newfound interest in the anime community

I found a few new interests in the anime community. I have been to four conventions and the latest was this past Saturday at Anime Boston '11. I plan on attending ConnectiCon '11 as well.

I decided to collect buttons/pins, mostly are cute and things that are expressive. So far I have about 10 buttons. I bought a purse that I stick them all on to. I also love the Japanese soda they sell there. My flavor of choice is cherry or strawberry. There are others but those are on the top of my mind right now. I also enjoyed my first rave and I felt happy dancing to the loud music. The only thing I dislike is the bright and flashy lights. I bought and use my flashy pacifer. I may look immature but nobody knows me when I attend so I don't really care XD I don't feel the pressure of my high school peers humiliating me and that brings me back to the days where I would get teased, not a pleasant memory in my book ):

This has brought my partner and I closer in a way because I found my niche in the anime community. I even found a anime series I might be interested in it features a paranormal aspect and I'm a fan of that too. (and no, this isn't 'Ghost Stories' )

Overall, this has been a great few experiences. I reckon that if and when my partner and I start living togehter, we can put some money aside in our budget for these fun times! I have a few friends who share the interest of anime as well and it'll give me a chance to bond with them in some ways or others