a love/hate paradox of words

I noticed this more when I attended high school and when I talk with the people whom would antagonize me. I often would give them compliments, how does that make sense? I don't believe you resolve fights when you fight fire with fire (in this case, words) because it would grow larger and harder to manage. I was never good at sticking up for myself so I learned to just be polite and hope they feel bad for treating me poorly.